Quotes from Roseanne Barr

My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants and a T-shirt with two fat women fighting over a skinny guy.

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.