Quotes from Larry David

Most of the time I'm thinking, I'm glad that scene was improvised.

At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I was gonna be doing me.

I've been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don't need to know anymore.

I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.

Woody Allen likes to do a lot of master shots. He likes to get the whole thing in one take, and so you could be going along doing a scene, and then the next to last line, all of a sudden, you stumble, and you have to go back to first base.

Religion doesn't play any part in my life in terms of how I live my life. But I don't think I've ever gone through a day in my life without hearing someone say the word 'Jew' or saying it myself.

The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it.

I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.

Women love a self-confident bald man.

There's nothing that reflects me. I'm unreflectable!

I think that what people imagine they're going through is much worse than what they are going through.

Well, I always think the worst things are going to happen here, because I'm - basically inside, I'm a bad person, and so the bad kind of takes over.

I'm one of the idiots that negotiates after I write.

I have reservations about everything I do.

I'm still driving a Prius, yeah.

I think Michael Moore is a hero. I love him.

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish.

There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny.

People don't yell nasty things at actors - they let them continue.

It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with my aunt and my cousins right next door to me, with the door open, with neighbors walking in and out, with people yelling at each other all the time.

I'd rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.

Sometimes you have to wander a bit, and do what you don't want to in order to figure out what it is you're supposed to do.

My background is degradation and sloth, mostly.

I don't take on big things. What I do, pretty much, is make the big things small and the small things big.