Quotes from David Walliams

It was impossible to sleep. Anxiety stopped me from falling asleep; depression woke me up.

I think all those rules are boring. About what people can and can't wear. Surely everyone should be able to wear whatever they like?

Adults always ask kids how they are doing at school. The one subject kids absolutely hate talking about. You don't even want to talk about school when you are at school.

It was a long, long time since anyone had hugged him, so he hugged himself.

But children nowadays don't believe in magic. They are forever watching TV and playing computer games. They never look to the skies any more.

Spending so much time alone had turned Chloe's imagination into a deep dark forest. It was a magical place to escape to, and so much more thrilling than real life.

My name is Mr Bread." He began writing his name neatly on the board. "But you can call me Peter." Suddenly there was quiet, as thirty little brains whirred. "Pita Bread!" proclaimed a ginger-haired boy from the back.

You mustn't let bullies get you down.

Perhaps Mother was trying to shame her into losing weight. In truth, it only made Chloe more miserable, and being miserable only made her eat more. Filling herself up with chocolate, crisps and cake felt like being given a much-needed hug.

You can't go on running forever…" "And you can't go on…" Alfie desperately searched for the right word, "…mopedding* forever!

Comfort eating or pure greed? Most likely a mixture of both. Pieces of cake or biscuits or chocolate could instantly sweeten the sourness of my life. If you have been called gay all day in the playground, a cake when you returned home from school offered some consolation. A fairy cake of course.

All our lives are hard in one way or another... But listen to me... We need to be kind to each other, and stick together, OK? This place is tough enough without you making my life a misery.

He seemed lonely too, not just alone, but lonely in his soul. That made Chloe sad. She knew full well what it was like to feel lonely. Chloe didn't like school very much. Mother had insisted on sending her to a posh all-girls secondary school, and she hadn't made any friends there. Chloe didn't like being at home much either. Wherever she was she had the feeling that she didn't quite fit in.

That life is precious. Every moment is precious. We should be kind to each other. While there is still time.

They may have only had one pence to spend, but their hearts beamed with gold.

Unfortunately for Ben and Granny, it turns out that ancient poo does still pong.)

The Frog Prince The princess kisses the frog and contracts a waterborne disease that makes her bottom explode.

As a teenager I was both prurient and prudish. I was so full of self-loathing that in my mind it was unthinkable that any girl would ever want me. I hated everything about myself. The way I looked. How I spoke. Even how I thought. In my head I believed myself to be completely and utterly unworthy of love. My life had only just begun but I felt that I had already ruined it.

But being a child, he'd never been asked for his opinion.

Plank to base. I require urgent backup. Repeat. Urgent backup. Am knackered. Repeat. Knackered. And can you pick me up a bag of ready salted crisps on the way? Repeat. Ready salted crisps. Urgent. Over.

life is precious. Every moment is precious

neighbour. He is a retired major and now runs the local Neighbourhood Watch group, Lower Toddle branch. It is a collection of oldies who have joined forces to keep an eye out for burglars, but Mr Parker uses it as an excuse to spy on everyone. One person he has got his eye on particularly is Ben. The nosy neighbour had been convinced the boy and his granny had stolen the Crown Jewels, but nobody had believed him. Now Mr Parker is out for revenge!

scared out of her wits.

Another time Stella heard the two of them splashing around in the bath together. It wasn't natural, it wasn't right, and it definitely couldn't be hygienic. Especially not for the owl.