Quotes from Janet Evanovich

Bitch, this is a gun...

There was an air of satisfaction to the house at the end of the day. Maybe the day hadn't gone exactly right, but the day had been lived and the house had been there for its family.

He wears jeans, untucked shirts, and a Glock 19, and he has a big shaggy dog named Bob.

He smiled when he saw me . . . and it was the nice smile that included his eyes.

You hung up on me," he said. "Don't ever hang up on me." His voice was quiet, but as always the authority was unmistakable. He was wearing black dress slacks, a long-sleeved lightweight black sweater pushed up on his forearms, and expensive black loafers. His hair was cut very short. I was used to seeing him in SWAT dress with long hair, and I hadn't immediately recognized him. I guess that was the point.

You're scared now, I can smell it... Benito Ramirez

Diesel grinned. "You have a choice. You can be the stupid inferior female or the stupid powerful female." "How about if I'm just myself?" Diesel glanced at Ranger. "I'm not going to touch that one." Ranger shook his head. "I'll pass." "Funny," I said. "Very funny.

If Mickey Mouse could fly, he'd be Donald Duck.

helped Grandma off and removed her helmet. She stepped away from the bike and straightened her clothes. "I can see why people like these Harleys," she said. "They really wake you up down there, don't they?

I got a free beer for a $5 tip

It was mesmerizing," Grandma said. "It was like staring into the eye of a cobra. I don't care if I do anything else on the bucket list. This was awesome. It was like a biblical experience.

Wouldn't want to tarnish my image by looking like a good guy.

No Ranger in sight. That's because he's in the wind. You can't see the wind. Or maybe the wind went home to watch Tuesday night fights.

I liked you better when you had vordo." "You're not suggesting we do it in this tiny closet with two men watching television in the next room, are you?" "It'd be limiting," Ranger said, "but at least you wouldn't have your ass on the horn.

Sounds to me like you're talkin' about the wrong things. Why don't you talk about other things? Like you could make a list of things you won't fight over and then you only talk about those things.

I'm done with men. I have a hamster. That's all I need.

That's how hospitals get you. You go in to visit and before you know it they got a camera stuck up your butt and they're looking' to find poloponies.

She gestured to the bag. What have you got in there? Nothing much. Some golfballs, a handful of tees, a Glock, extra ammo, two hand grenades, a tear gas canister, a knife, Tums, clean socks, flares, and some Ensure chocolate shakes. You took all of that with you to play golf?

Do you know what I did? I urrrrrinated on the cake at my ex-wife's wedding. Pissssed all over the icing. Melvin Baylor - Seven Up

changed back into my comfy T-shirt advertising beer, crawled into bed, and switched the light off. I woke up at sunrise with Ranger next to me. Naked. No surprise there. Ranger always slept naked.

I heard about them Rangers on TV," Grandma said. "I heard they get dogs pregnant." -Grandma Mazur

Your monkey was looking under the stall doors in the ladies' room,' I told Diesel. 'That's my boy,' Diesel said.

Princeton isn't actually part of New Jersey. It's a small island of wealth and intellectual eccentricity floating in the Sea of Central Megalopolis. It's an honest-to-god town awash in the land of the strip mall. Hair is smaller, heels are shorter, asses are tighter in Princeton.

You're scum, Morelli! You're scum!