Quotes from Janet Evanovich

Go figure that. Joseph Morelli with a house, a dog, a steady job, and an SUV. And on odd days of the month he woke up wanting to marry me. It turns out want to marry him on even days of the month, so to date we've been spared commitment.

Babe," Ranger said, "you need to make some decisions." "I made decisions. I'm just having a hard time sticking to them.

I want to be there when you get Cubbin. And I don't want to be left out of the television show either. Little people are sexy now. Have you seen Game of Thrones? We're hot.

I rushed us out of your parents' house because I didn't think I could manage two hours at the dinner table with everyone focused on Joe Loosey's joystick sitting in the refrigerator next to the applesauce.

Good grief. Are you flirting with me? Honey, my intentions are way past flirting. Your intentions could get you a knee in the groin. Nick grinned. At least your mind's on the right body part.

It has been my experience that the only normal people are those you don't know very well.

Howie's doctor told him to lose ten pounds, and since Howie's been on a diet he's gained three.

You can relax. I am not here to collect on the deal I blinked. You are not? Then why did you drop your gun belt? I am tired. I wanted to sit and the belt is uncomfortable. Oh. He smiled. Disappointed? No. Liar, liar, pants on fire.

And then it gets so hot that they keep the supermarkets too cold. Hot, cold. Hot, cold. It gives me the runs. Mr. Landowsky

In my father's scheme of things, there were Italians and then there was the rest of the world.

I figured I'd embellish the truth a little, since the police might not be up on the finer points of bounty hunterism and might not understand about commandeering.

I slipped the acres of pink taffeta over my head and struggled to get it zipped. What had originally been a dress from the Little House on the Prairie collection was now straight out of the Little Whore-house on the Prairie collection.

I'll take a donut over a man any day of the week.

I kicked my shoes off, shuffled out of the black jeans and carted an armload of food into my bedroom. I switched the television on and crawled into bed with the channel changer. Do I know how to have a good time, or what?

We gotta be professional about this, Lula said, aiming us toward Route 1. We need a plan. How about we get the nail polish first, then we get the guy?

I think I got a bruise from landing on you. I hear bacon is real good for healing a bruise.

He's hot, Lula said, but he's a pig. All men are pigs. Do you really believe that? No but it's a point of view to keep in mind . You don't want to go around thinkin' shit is your fault. Next thing you know, they got you makin' pot roast ad you're cutting up your mastercard.

We were discussing a grisly double murder and Rodriguez was telling us all this in the same sort of conversational tone a person might use to pass on a favorite lasagna recipe. And I was responding with the same enthusiasm a new cook might show. I was simultaneously horrified and impressed with myself.

Ranger stood and stretched, his black T-shirt rode up, and I caught a glimpse of two inches of brown skin and hard abs and almost had an orgasm. "Babe," he said. "Are you okay?" "Yep. Why?" "You sort of moaned." "Gas." "Understandable." We took the elevator to the lobby and looked in at the bar. Filled with men speaking Russian.

It would be difficult to tell, Wulf said. I've always been a romantic. I've seen Casablanca twice, and I sat through the entire ordeal of Titanic. Didn't you enjoy Titanic? I was relieved when the ship went down.

You don't have to be there to be there.

I smell vampire -Lula You're a Nut -Stephine Well I smell something. -Lula Mold. -Stephine Yeah. I smell moldy vampire -Lula

No one expected a first year engineering student to build the perfect bridge.

I'd kiss you, but you smell like a gym bag.