Quotes from Janet Evanovich

He couldn't understand that, she thought, because he had no purpose to his life. He was a couch potato. He'd reverted back to childhood. He was a wasteoid. He was the man of her dreams, and she was afraid living with him would be a nightmare. His laziness and lack of motivation would drive her crazy

She's a silly old lady,' my mother said. 'You could be a good Christian and turn the other cheek.' 'I'm a plenty good Christian,' Grandma said, 'but I got it on good authority that God wants me to get Bella for Him.

The clock on the dash told me I was seven minutes late, and the urge to scream told me I was home.

Every time I turn around, Short Stuff got his nose in my business. But

Some men enter a woman's life and screw it up forever.

I turned the key in the ignition and pulled away from the curb. "What will you do if you see Mo?" "I'll snatch the little fucker up by his gonads and squash him into the trunk of my car.

Esistono alcuni uomini che entrano nella vita di una donna e la mandano all'aria per sempre. Joseph Morelli l'ha fatto a me - non per sempre, ma di tanto in tanto.

Holy Mary, mother of God," my mother said. "You were being chased by Richard Nixon, Bill Clinton, and a rabbit.

We ran to the bedroom and found Gloria pumping half a clip into a picture of her ex-husband. She dropped the gun onto the floor, turned, and mooned the picture and farted. Lula and I took a step back. "Sorry," Gloria said. "I get gas when I eat too much sugar.

What do you have?" "A real bad feeling.

And Larry Burlew was a slug. She'd join the Foreign Legion before she'd marry Larry Burlew.

Sometimes I find human nature to be real disappointing," Lula said. "I guess that's why God made metallic extensions and pink hair dye. Sometimes you gotta compensate.

Being alone is different from being lonely, you know.

She looked like Pooh when he was stuck in the rabbit hole.

I had eight Chihuahuas and a gun in my hand. Could it get any more ridiculous?

What did you ever see in Dickie Orr?" I'd asked myself that same question many times and never found a satisfactory answer. "He had a nice car," I said. Morelli's mouth curved. "Seems like a sound basis for marriage.

What is it with men and gazongas? It's not like women got a nut fixation. It's not like we go around looking for some guy with basketballs hangin' down to his knees.

You're no David Niven," Lula

Stand back. I'm going to give the eye.' Grandma pulled a .45 long barrel out of her black patent leather purse and pointed it at Bella. 'You put your finger to your eye and I'll put a hole in your head that's so big you could push a potato through it.

Grandma has some things in common with the Queen of England. They have the same hairstyle, they each carry their purse in the crook of their arm, and no one tells either of them what to do. Grandma

An eerie electric glow emanated from the otherwise dark basement. "I'm not going to get sucked into an alternate universe by some poltergeist if I go down there, am I?" "Alternate universe, yes. Poltergeist, no," Nick said.

Superbia, Acedia, Luxuria, Ira, Gula, Invidia, Avaritia. The seven deadly sins. That's the extent of my Latin.

Vinnie slammed his door shut, and Lula stuck

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