Quotes from Bob Hope

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

I was called "Rembrandt" Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.

If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one.

When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren't penalized for being on grass.

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.

I have too much money invested in sweaters.

If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.

If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him.

I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.

Middle age is when your age starts to show around the middle.

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - give off the greatest glow of happiness.

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned how to dance- waiting for the bathroom.