Quotes from Christopher Moore

As lovely as she was, sarcasm did not wear well on her. Still, she was a bright girl, and in our short time together we had built a bond of petty resentments that usually takes a lifetime to develop.

Oh yes, I kept all of the abominations at bay while Kaliel played with his favorite sheep behind the bushes.

Se decía: un trasero bien formado en el espacio no es más que un trasero bien formado, pero si le pones un trasero bien formado a una mujer tan ingeniosa como ella y le aplicas un poco de turbación lo que obtienes son… bueno, problemas.)

Which goes to show you, right there, the difference between sailors and marines: marines are fucking stupid. Running when you don't have to.

Megaptera novaeangliae («Grandes alas de Nueva Inglaterra», la había denominado cierto científico, demostrando de este modo que los científicos también beben)

Christopher Moore is the author of ten novels, including this one. He began writing at age six and became the oldest known child prodigy when, in his early thirties, he published his first novel.

Yeah, and there's sort of a progression going back to the fifties: Bubbles, Boom Boom, and Blaze begat Bambi, Candy, and Jewel, who begat Sunshine, Brandy, and Cinnamon, who begat Amber, Brittany, and Brie, who begat Reagan, Morgan, and Madison. Madison is a stripper name.

There's a difference between bearing false witness and saving someone's feelings.

You see," I explained to Joshua, "what Joy is doing is ironic, yet that's not her intent. That's the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You have to create sarcasm.

A general who wages war for a republic whose cause is not just would make devils of soldiers, and turn honor to evil.

Josh," I said in a harsh whisper, "that kid is as dumb as a stick." "He's not dumb, Biff, he just has a talent for belief." "Fine," I said, turning to Philip. "Don't let the kid anywhere near the money.

They agreed, tacitly, to admire—but not covet—the red flowers. Mrs. Korjev liked the very redness of them. She had always been angry that the Communists had co-opted that color, for otherwise it would have evoked an unbridled happiness in her. Then again, the Russian soul, conditioned by a thousand years of angst, really wasn't equipped for unbridled happiness, so it was probably for the best.

Strangely enough, Brine took comfort in the fact that this experience was invalidating every assumption he had ever made about the nature of the world. He had tapped into the Zen of ignorance, the enlightenment of absurdity.

no somos más que políticos: vociferantes putas de la retórica.

Don't care. It's a mystery. Know what I like about mysteries? They're mysterious.

All women are the same; a man needs to simply find his ideal and marry her to have all the women in the world.

was drafted as a shortstop right out of high school by the Giants and sent to their double-A team in Richmond, Virginia, the Flying Squirrels, which is where I got my nickname—the squirrel—

políticos: vociferantes putas de la retórica.

so here, in not too many pages, someone is going to dispatch the miserable son of a bitch with a shovel. That's the spirit of Christmas yet to come in these parts. Ho, ho, ho.

So that's what you think you're going to do? Bring God to everyone?" "Yes. After a nap." "Of course, I meant after a nap.

One suit for the White Devil!" in Mandarin

Sometimes a guy's past is like a stone around his neck that drags him so far down in the dark, he'll never see light again if he doesn't find a moment to cut it loose.

He shook his head. "Those are the dumbest sons of bitches on earth." "They've become like little children, as you told them to." "Stupid little children," Joshua said.

When he was reading he could fly away into the wildest skies of imagination, untethered to the reality that his soul was trapped in a wretched creature cobbled together from meat and bone, like us all. Charlie