Quotes from Jeff Foxworthy

If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.

It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.

I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.

Country music is about new love and it's about old love.

For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.

The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'You know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.

I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead

If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck

You might be a redneck if your dogs name is Miller Light

If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck.

If you ahve ever unloaded your pickup by backing up really fast and slamming on the brakes, you might be a redneck.

If you think a quaterhorse is that ride in front of Kmart.. You might be a rednneck

I teach a Bible study for homeless guys in downtown Atlanta every week. Been doing it for years. That's the guys I'd rather go talk to. I'd rather take my act outside the church.

I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14. I've got four more summers with her. I'm not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie.

It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.

For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together.

My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.

You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn.

You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.