Quotes from Fran Lebowitz

I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.

Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.

I drank my lifetime supply of alcohol and I took my lifetime supply of drugs between the ages of 15 and 19.

When you reach a certain age, suddenly there are lots of people younger than you, which is really startling.

I hate, simply, to work. I just hate to work, period. I am profoundly slothful. Practically inert.

I drove a cab. But all the girls I knew when I was young who had to work - there were rich girls - but the ones who had to work were waitresses. Because you could always get shifts in a restaurant.

I never wanted to have any extra money, if it meant having to have any extra work.

I'm very lazy, I hate to work.

It is not true that there is dignity in all work. Some jobs are definitely better than others.

[On parenthood:] You can't change your mind--you know, and say, this isn't working out, let's sell.

My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.

There are two modes of transport in Los Angeles: car and ambulance. Visitors who wish to remain inconspicuous are advised to choose the latter

I stopped taking drugs when I was 19, and who wants to drive a cab around New York with drugs in their car?

When someone asks, 'Why do you think he's not calling me?' there's always one answer - 'He's not interested.' There's not ever any other answer.

To lose yourself in a book is the desire of the bookworm. I mean to be taken. That is my desire.

I am a New Yorker. I like New York. And I like cities. And it's not my desire to make New York more suburban. I would personally just like to vet each person.

Nothing succeeds like address.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

No one's supposed to be the president. This is not England. And it's not just the Bush family, all families designate each child as having some particular trait.

Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy

I just write when fear overtakes me.

I think writing for me has always been a matter of fear. Writing is fear and not writing is fear. I am afraid of writing and then I'm afraid of not writing.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.