Quotes from Marshall B. Rosenberg

We are compassionate with ourselves when we are able to embrace all parts of ourselves and recognize the needs and values expressed by each part.

People don't make us angry, how we think makes us angry.

When it comes to giving advice, never do so unless you've first received a request in writing, signed by a lawyer.

We can never make anyone do anything against their will without enormous consequences.

At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled.

Keep in mind that other people's actions can never 'make' you feel any certain way. Feelings are your warning indicators.

Always listen to what people need rather than what they are thinking about us.

Violence comes from the belief that other people cause our pain and therefore deserve punishment.

We are responsible for what we hear other people say and for how we act.

Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.

Use anger as a wake-up call to unmet needs.

Most of us live in a Jackal world where we take turns using the other person as a waste basket for our words.

If we wish to express anger fully, the first step is to divorce the other person from any responsibility for our anger.

Understanding the other persons' needs does not mean you have to give up on your own needs.

Expressing our vulnerability can help resolve conflicts.

Every message, regardless of form or content, is an expression of a need.

I never have to worry about another person's response, only how I react to what they say.

When I am angry I have a judgment and an unmet need.

I don't think you can have an authentic connection when one person is diagnosing the other.

Don't hate the circumstance, you may miss the blessing

What others do may be the stimulus of our feelings, but never the cause.

Get very clear about the kind of world we would like and then start living that way.

Judgments of others contribute to self-fulfilling prophecies.

When we listen for their feelings and needs, we no longer see people as monsters.