Quotes from Marshall B. Rosenberg

MBR: Ah, so it's my saying those two things that you appreciate.

Participant: Hopeful and relieved.

Empathy is a respectful understanding of what others are experiencing. We often have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling. Empathy, however, calls upon us to empty our mind and listen to others with our whole being.

Mucho antes de llegar a la adultez aprendí a comunicarme de una forma impersonal que no requería revelar lo que estaba sucediendo dentro de mí.

MBR: And now I'd like to know what needs of yours were fulfilled by my saying those two things.

Participant: I have this eighteen-year-old son whom I haven't been able to communicate with.

Hearing all three pieces of information—what I did, how she felt, and what needs of hers were fulfilled—I could then celebrate the appreciation with her. Had she initially expressed her appreciation in NVC, it might have sounded like this: "Marshall, when you said these two things (showing me her notes), I felt very hopeful and relieved, because I've been searching for a way to make a connection with my son, and these gave me the direction I was looking for.

When our consciousness is focused on what we need, we are naturally stimulated toward creative possibilities for how to get that need met. In contrast, the moralistic judgements we use when blaming ourselves tend to obscure such possibilities and perpetuate a state of self-punishment.

Hearing all three pieces of information—what I did, how she felt, and what needs of hers were fulfilled—I could then celebrate the appreciation with her.

violência passiva que alimenta a fornalha da violência física.

Temos quatro opções quando escutamos uma mensagem difícil: 1. Culpar a nós mesmos; 2. Culpar os outros; 3. Perceber nossos próprios sentimentos e necessidades; 4. Perceber os sentimentos e necessidades dos outros.

A menos que "nos tornemos a mudança que desejamos ver acontecer no mundo" (como diria meu avô), nenhuma mudança jamais acontecerá. Infelizmente, estamos todos esperando que os outros mudem primeiro.

Somos peligrosos cuando no somos conscientes de nuestra responsabilidad hacia cómo nos comportamos, pensamos y sentimos.

I believe that human beings are always acting in the service of needs and values. This is true whether the action does or does not meet the need, or whether it's one we end up celebrating or regretting.

A não-violência significa permitirmos que venha à tona aquilo que existe de positivo em nós e que sejamos dominados pelo amor, respeito, compreensão, gratidão, compaixão e preocupação com os outros, em vez de o sermos pelas atitudes egocêntricas, egoístas, gananciosas, odientas, preconceituosas, suspeitosas e agressivas que costumam dominar nosso pensamento.

mythologist Joseph Campbell suggested, "'What will they think of me?' must be put aside for bliss.

O mundo em que vivemos é aquilo que fazemos dele. Se hoje é impiedoso, foi porque nossas atitudes o tornaram assim. Se mudarmos a nós mesmos, poderemos mudar o mundo, e essa mudança começará por nossa linguagem e nossos métodos de comunicação.

Do not judge, and you will not be judged. For as you judge others, so you will yourselves be judged

Love is not denying ourselves and doing for others, but rather it is honestly expressing whatever our feelings and needs are and empathically receiving the other person's feelings and needs.

Iam not easily frightened. Not because I am brave but because I know that I am dealing with human beings, and that I must try as hard as I can to understand everything that anyone ever does.

I had a major conflict with what went on in his head, but I've learned that I enjoy human beings more if I don't hear what they think.

This is a humbling lesson in power for those of us who believe that, because we're a parent, teacher, or manager, our job is to change other people and make them behave.

It's not what you do that counts, it's the quality of your attention.

the dangers of a language that implies absence of choice