Quotes from Jarod Kintz

If you work in a hospital, you cant easily fake call in sick to work. Oh, you're sick? Well why dont you come in to work and we'll have a look at it.

Dont go looking for pancakes when you have flapjacks at home.

I want to be happy and sad at the same time. Yeah, I know it sounds sappy.

From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.

My two favorite colors of the rainbow are gold and leprechaun.

Return something not for the possibility of a reward, but for the joy of giving a gift which you did not have to pay for.

The other day I went to the Huddle House. I wasnt hungry, I just wanted to call some plays.

If I tell you I want to be a door-to-door salesman, dont knock it.

When I saw you, I saw love. When I saw you naked, I saw lust. When I saw you with my clone in a dream, I saw the future.

I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to get married.