Quotes About Wit

Most writers are not quick-witted when they talk. Novelists, in particular, drag themselves around in society like gut-shot bears.

Generally speaking, there is more wit than talent in the world. Society swarms with witty people who lack talent.

How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?

The pickpockets' profession demands extraordinary nimbleness and agility, a terrific certainty of movement, not to mention a ready wit, a talent for observation and strained attention.

sometimes crazy uncles—from Samuel Johnson to G. K. Chesterton.

Control was the basis of all humor. Even at its most innocent, what was a joke or a clever comment if not a way to take control? To become King of the Moment.

She texts Kylie the dumb joke she's been saving up all morning: How do you think the unthinkable? When Kylie doesn't respond after a minute, Rachel sends her the answer: With an itheberg.

Clumsy jesting is no joke.

Delightfully, however, even phrases of world-ending awesome fury, spoken through a split lip, were quite funny.

Crux sneered. "That's an awfully big word for a thirteen-year-old." Valkyrie resisted the urge to hit him. "Actually, it's not," she replied. "It's fairly standard. Also, I'm fourteen. Also, your beard's stupid." "Isn't this fun?" Skulduggery said brightly. "The three of us getting along so well.

Mighty brawn is no match for a nimble brain. Let

he said that I was obviously really quick-witted and that I should try out for

A funny person is funny only for so long, but a wit can sit down and go on being spellbinding forever. One is not meant to laugh. One stays quiet and marvels. Spontaneously witty talk is without question the most fascinating entertainment there is.

I couldn't tell a joke if my life depended on it.

In a deep sexy voice, she said Windows don't turn me on. I raised an eyebrow at her, Mac user?

One day I was standing with my stage manager, Sandy Prudden, and Buddy Sheffield watching as Kermit the Frog (with the help of the late Jim Henson) sweetly sang a song. Sandy was always a big joker. He sidled up to me and said, "Isn't it amazing the way Kermit can sing like that with somebody's hand up his ass." Without missing a beat, I came back with, "Shoot, that ain't nothin'. I did that for seven years on the 'The Porter Wagoner Show.

coarsejocositycatches the crowdshakespeareand iare oftenlow browed

I drink only to make my friends seem interesting.

I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny.

Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.

Funny is funny.

In all thy humours, whether grave or mellow, Thou'rt such a touchy, testy, pleasant fellow, Hast so much wit and mirth and spleen about thee, There is no living with thee, nor without thee.

I am writing My Life to laugh at myself, and I am succeeding.

An insult comic is the title I was given. What I do is exaggeration. I make fun of people, at life, of myself and my surroundings.