Quotes from Dan Gutman

used to search for aliens." "But if there were aliens out there," Dr. McDonald said, "this would be a great way for

The society ladies were all decked out, if you'll excuse the pun.

I pledge allegiance to the flag, 'cause if I don't it's such a drag. Flags are red and white and blue. Why they are I have no clue.

What is it?" Dr. McDonald said angrily. There

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other one.

Our beautiful and spacious skies, Mom and picnics, apple pies. Dig our amber waves of grain, Purple mountains, fruited plain. Broad stripes and bright stars, Super Bowls and fast cars. To the republic for which it stands, Now it's time to all join hands. "Star-spangled banners wave

He was holding up a pair of underwear with the words WORLD'S LARGEST SOURCE OF NATURAL GAS on the back.

Left! Right! Left! Right!

For the free and for the brave. We pledge allegiance to our flag, And when we're done we'll go play tag.

I think that only students who do math problems should be allowed to come to the chocolate party," said Andrea. "Could you possibly be any more boring?" I asked her.

Do you have to go," I asked, "or do you have to go?

You can make invisible ink out of milk, lemon juice, saliva, vinegar, even soapy water—anything that will oxidize when you heat it.

Stonewall Jackson led our troops," he said. "Nine months later, the Battle of Chancellorsville took place not far from here. One of our guys mistook Stonewall for a Union officer and fired a volley at him. A bullet shattered his arm, and it had to be amputated just below the shoulder. Then they buried the arm in its own grave.

immature, Arlo!" said Andrea. "I bet their daughter's

We had to walk a million hundred miles back to class in single file. Everybody was being really quiet. Nobody wanted to get in trouble with Mr. Klutz. I looked around for Mr. Granite, but I couldn't find him.

Let's say each one of these glue sticks is a wheel

The eraser!" I said. "It's smaller and lighter, so it will fall faster. Just like small, light kids run faster than big, heavy kids.

Daisy said, "I hate school too.

They had been attacked by guys in golf carts with blow guns, jumped off a cliff, been locked in a burning school, and had their heads stapled, but putting coins in a slot machine was considered too dangerous for kids.

1. Andrea has 10 crayons, but, nah-nah-nah boo-boo, A.J. took 5 of them! How many does Andrea have now?

I knitted it myself," Andrea said, "in my knitting class." "How wonderful, Andrea!" said Miss Daisy. "A homemade present is so much nicer than something you buy in a store. A.J., what do you say to

My name is A.J. and I hate school. Well, I hate that reading and writing and arithmetic part of school, anyway. That stuff is for the birds!

funny about it. I have learned a lot in my eight years. One thing I learned is that there is no reason why kids should have

A.J.!" Miss Daisy said with her mean face. "Hold your tongue!" "Okay." So I stuck out my tongue and held onto it. Everybody laughed. Well, everybody but Emily and Miss Daisy.