Quotes from Dan Gutman

period. "Do you still think books are boring, A.J.?" she asked me.

That was Mrs. Roopy wearing a powdered wig and an army uniform." She may have been right, but I didn't want to admit it, because I hate her.

The girl was wearing a backward baseball cap and a black T-shirt that said LED ZEPPELIN on it. "Yo!" she said as she hopped off her skateboard. "They told me I was supposed to be in Mr. Granite's class. Are you Mr. Granite?" "Yes," Mr. Granite replied. "Who are you?" "My name is A.J.," the girl said, "and I hate school." WHAT?!

Rhyme?" she said. "Is it a crime to talk in rhyme? I'd rather mime, but that takes more time.

Andrea was right. "Dumb" is not a nice word. In fact, there's only one word in the English language that's worse than dumb. "Dumbhead.

But you have to read the next chapter. So nah-nah-nah boo-boo on you.

Left! Right! Left! Right!" Dr. Carbles yelled as we marched. "Stop lagging behind, kindergarteners!" Dr. Carbles had us march around the playground a million hundred times. I thought I was gonna die.

A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P…

Courtesy of Dan Gutman and Jim Paillot DAN GUTMAN has

said Mr. Granite. "Did you hear about the fire at the circus?" "No," we all shouted.

Ooooo!" Ryan said. "Miss Newman is kissing Luke Warm! They must be in love!" "When are they gonna get married?" asked Michael. "They just did, you dumbheads!" shouted Andrea.

I can't read lips.

America must be in really bad shape if you elected me president. You better get it together and find some other qualified people to run this country or we'll all be in big trouble.

I don't get it. For the first few years of your life, all grown-ups do is teach you how to talk. And then, for the rest of your life, all they do is tell you to stop talking. What's up with that?

school? When we got to the all-porpoise

the man was Mr. Klutz, the principal of

Mr. Burke explained the rules of the duel to everybody.

My friend Alexia and I were the knights. We got on

having a flattened

Swami Havabanana

I'll announce the winning class at the end of the day.

funny. School

Yeah, what could possibly go wrong?" asked Coke, who in the last two weeks had been forced to jump off a cliff, dipped into boiling oil, drowned in ice cream, and gassed in a rest-stop bathroom. "Well, okay…" "Yay!

My name is A.J. I like football and video games, and I hate school.