Quotes from Dan Gutman

The way your life plays out depends on which dominoes you chose to push over and which ones you leave alone.

Sometimes we spend so much time and energy thinking about where we want to go that we don't notice where we happen to be.

Sometimes we spend so much time and energy thinking about where we want to go that we don't notice where we happen to be.

Do stupid stuff and even stupider suff will happen to you.

A lot of people seem nice when you first meet them. Then later you find out that they are evil villains who plan to take over the world.

If the president and the Vice President dies who becomes President Thats easy Arnold Swartzanager

If you're going to break the rules, you might as well break them correctly.

footnote: With all due respect is grown-up talk for I think you're stupid.

In and effort to be fair, an umpire will sometimes cheat.

The way your life plays out depends on which dominoes you chose to push over and which ones you leave alone.

No matter what ya do to help somebody, it'll hurt somebody else.

baseball freely admits that the sport--like civilized society--is crawling with bums.

Hey soda girl. You're flat.

ASSUME is to make an ASS of U and ME.

You wanna grow up to be a trivia question? she asked, challenging me. Or do you wanna make a difference in the world?

They had been attacked by guys in golf carts with blow guns, jumped off a cliff, been locked in a burning school, and had their heads stapled, but putting coins in a slot machine was considered too dangerous for kids. Go figure.

I bet you guys can't name three things invented in Nebraska," Coke asked the family. "No, but I'm sure you can," his sister replied. "Kool-Aid, CliffsNotes, and Eskimo Pies!

It is a known fact that if you stand up on a chair, put your fingers in your ears, and announce "I love turnips," people will think you're weird.

Coke had a theory to explain grown-ups, as he did for most things in life. In his view, babies are born with a specific number of brain cells, which waste away and die off as people get older. So by the time they reach thirty—and certainly by the time they reach forty—most of their brain cells are gone. This explains why grown-ups do and say the things they do.

Jump in the air! Fall in the dirt. Just make sure no one gets hurt! Go…Moose!

I gave my clothes away. How could I think about clothes when the poor people of Florida don't even have a place to live?

ASS of U and ME.

It was the great Russian author Chekhov who wrote, "If you say in the first chapter that there is a rifle hanging on the wall, in the second or third chapter it absolutely must go off. If it's not going to be fired, it shouldn't be hanging there.

Maybe flog slab is his name," Pep guessed. "Flog Slab. It's kinda cute, actually." "That's a pretty weird name," Coke said. "Well, what do you expect an alien from another planet to be named?" asked his sister. "Bob?" "We