Quotes from Dan Gutman

If a teacher said they needed a kid to jump off the roof, Andrea would

Does it really matter how many people tune in to watch us?

The oldest dog in the history of the world was an Australian cattle dog named Bluey. He lived almost thirty years, from 1910 to 1939.

Your mom is weird," I told Ryan.

If there are six apples on a table and you take away four of them, how many do you have?" Mr. Cooper asked. Andrea was waving her hand in the air like she needed to be rescued from a desert island. "Two apples!" she said. "Because six minus four is two." Then she made her smiley smile again. "No," said Mr. Cooper. "If there are six apples on a table and you take away four of them, you have four of them, of course. You just took four of them away!

The rumbling from below was accompanied by a loud humming noise, as if a billion cats were purring into microphones and the sound was being pumped out of speakers positioned all around. Gentle vibrations washed over Coke and Pep.

Then Mr. Klutz got up, brushed himself off, and walked up the front steps, like it was totally normal for a principal to skateboard to school and crash headfirst into the bushes. Mr. Klutz is nuts!

The Most Genius Idea!

This was his idea: We should buy the school.

What a cool, wacky guy Mr. Klutz is! He is the coolest principal in the history of the world. 7 Teacher for a Day The news about the big chocolate party blew through the school like a hurricane.

Billy said that if you try to multiply numbers higher than ten, the earth will fall off its axis. And if you get all the way up to eleven times eleven, you get sucked into a parallel universe, and you travel back in time until you get to the Big Bang, when your head explodes.

Remember the time we had a sleepover in the natural history museum and a giant hissing cockroach crawled into Emily's sleeping bag?

playground behind the school so we would learn how to make a grand entrance

I'm going to put Gobbles in detention.

What a snoozefest! He went on like that for about a million hundred hours. I had no idea what he was talking about. My shirt was itchy. My tie was choking me. I thought I was gonna die. All I could think about was when Mayor Hubble would stop talking so we could go eat some Peeps.

France Talk and Frogs' Legs

That Fig Newton guy was weird. And Miss Tracy is spacey.

disgusting!

Fizz Ed is gym class

Okay, okay, I'll tell you. And you don't even have to read the next chapter. It was Dr. Carbles!

Were you talking about how the Egyptians pulled the brains of mummies out through their noses? No! Nobody cares about that stuff, Arlo.

Please put those books away," Miss Daisy had to tell us. "It's time for reading.

We didn't chase her with scissors

tortoise always manages to win the race by using its brains.