Quotes from Chris Rock

My goal in life was to host the MTV Awards, because it's the awards show that Prince sang on, and that was the awards show that Eddie Murphy hosted and Arsenio hosted.

Movies have takes. But plays are like life - you don't really get takes.

Artistically I'm curious. But in life? No. I can go to a restaurant and order the same thing for 10 years.

Music is the soundtrack to the crappy movie that is my life.

Show me one guy or woman as funny as Rodney Dangerfield or as good as George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, or Joan Rivers. There are a lot of good comics out there, no doubt, but as far as the quality of the comics goes, I think what you have is a bunch of situational comics.

You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who's angrier than Toby Keith? He's angrier than the average 10 rappers.

America is the greatest country in the whole world.

I don't believe I can offend you in a comedy club. I don't believe I can offend you in a concert. A comedy club is a place where you work out material; you're trying material.

Every now and then I'm in a situation where someone doesn't recognize me, and I experience racism. Things like not being buzzed into a store or sitting in first class on a plane and having someone ask to see my ticket four times.

When you meet somebody for the first time, you're not meeting them. You're meeting their representative.

Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.

If you live below your means, you can turn down stuff all the time.

You only know that you're smart because you're around dumb people from time to time!

I used to hang out with grandfather all the time because he used to pick me up from school sometimes, or drive me to my mother's, so I'd be with my grandfather a lot. I used to watch him write his sermons.

Men lie the most. Men lie all the time.

By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer.

When you're doing a big-budget movie and you're four on the call sheet, you've got a lot of free time.

There's some downsides to being famous, which are not even worth mentioning. But to combat the bad sides of being famous, you really should take advantage of the good sides. The good sides are, you can use that fame to get projects you might not normally get.

The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.

Nobody ever says, 'Hey daddy, thanks for knockin' out this rent.' 'Hey daddy, I sure love this hot water.' 'Hey daddy, it's easy to read with all this light.' Nobody give a fk about dads!

Babies don't know who's rich and who's poor. You love 'em and they're happy.

I'm an independent, but I got to admit I lean Democratic.

I met so many people after I got rich and famous, and I learned that you can't ultimately trust people unless they were your friends when you were broke.

I love black people, but I hate niggers.