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Quotes from Dan Gutman

What Do You Want to Be?
~ Dan Gutman
Good morning, good morning!" Mr. Harrison said to everybody. He was holding a paper coffee cup. I guess he must have stopped off to buy coffee on the way to school. Some of the teachers saw his cup and surrounded him.
~ Dan Gutman
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
~ Dan Gutman
Miss Daisy was really dumb! Even I know what you get when you multiply four times four. But that smarty-pants-I-know-everything-girl Andrea Young beat me to it and got called on first.
~ Dan Gutman
VALENTINE'S WORD HUNT Directions: Can you find all ten Valentine's Day words hidden in this messy jumble of letters?
~ Dan Gutman
How to Spell Read
~ Dan Gutman
In your case," Andrea told me, "that would be impossible." 12
~ Dan Gutman
Everybody has to stand in a big circle and tuck their thumbs into their armpits. Then you have to flap your elbows like a chicken and cluck. Then you have to wiggle down to the floor and sing, "I don't want to be a chicken. I don't want to be a duck. So I shake my butt.
~ Dan Gutman
Johnny Applesauce
~ Dan Gutman
DR. CARBLES?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I always thought you had to go to principal
~ Dan Gutman
I'll die without junk food.
~ Dan Gutman
The McDonalds went out back and were fortunate
~ Dan Gutman
Nooooooooo!" "Don't gooooooooo!" As much as I hate to use the L word, we all love Mr. Granite. We didn't want him to leave. "Mr. Granite has been teaching at our school for a long time," said Mr. Klutz to the aliens. "Why are you suddenly showing up now?" Good question. That's why Mr. Klutz is the principal. "We do apologize for our lateness," said one of the Mr. Granites.
~ Dan Gutman
In just one day at the 1904 Olympics, American gymnast George Eyser won six medals, including three golds. That was amazing in itself. But that's not even the amazing part of the story. The most amazing part was that Eyser only had one leg! His left one had to be amputated after it was run over by a train. Johnny Weissmuller was one
~ Dan Gutman
Each child blah blah blah blah two minutes blah blah blah blah at the end blah blah blah blah please do not take flash pictures blah blah blah blah our judges will decide blah blah blah blah blah . . .
~ Dan Gutman
In just one day at the 1904 Olympics, American gymnast George Eyser won six medals, including three golds. That was amazing in itself. But that's not even the amazing part of the story. The most amazing part was that Eyser only had one leg! His left one had to be amputated after it was run over by a train.
~ Dan Gutman
library is the tallest building in the world, because it has the most stories. Mr. Klutz totally doesn't
~ Dan Gutman
Oh, one more thing, A.J. Clean your room. It's a pigsty.
~ Dan Gutman
I thought I was gonna die. "Eeeeeeeekkkkkk!" we all screamed.
~ Dan Gutman
6 Nah-Nah-Nah Boo-Boo Y'know how your teacher says you have to read a chapter in a book before you can have fun? And you really don't want to? Well, read this chapter. Then go have fun! And tell your teacher nah-nah-nah boo-boo!
~ Dan Gutman
It seems like only yesterday that I was giving him a bath in our kitchen sink.
~ Dan Gutman
all the boys had a contest to see who could spin around in circles the longest without throwing up.
~ Dan Gutman
Giganotosaurus
~ Dan Gutman
He was probably trying to cover up his pimples," I told them. "When my big sister has pimples, she won't even go outside.
~ Dan Gutman