Quotes from Craig Ferguson

Hotel rooms have an aphrodisiac quality.

I'm not evil enough to love money, but I am naughty enough to fuck around with it, spank it, pull its hair a little bit.

I say suffer, because I believe if you are prejudiced you are committing an act of self robbery, which will severely damage your chance of joy or happiness.

I want to learn and continue to learn. It's the only way to stay alive.

Evil does not question itself. Only Hope questions itself.

I say suffer, because I believe that if you are a prejudiced; you are committing an act of self robbery, which will severely diminish your chance of joy or happiness. Tribalism is not just a curse for those who are victims of its cruel nonsense, but also for the stubborn evolutionary throwbacks who believe that it has validity as a value judgment .

She smiles and then runs as fast as she can toward them.

The worst gift I was given is when I got out of rehab that Christmas; a bottle of wine. It was delicious.

I have no ambitions beyond being comfortable in what I do for a living - and earning a living.

I think that clearly it has an influence, to be coming of age during the punk rock era, to come from a difficult and sporadically violent background, to have been in and out of such chaos, I think it actually helps. But I don't know for sure.

I think in our desire to create a better America,we have to have civilized debate in this country and not just yelling.

It's very interesting to know what people are doing while you're working on late-night television.

I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman.

Thanks cows. I appreciate your tastiness.

Aphrodisiacs come in many forms: food, drink, the internet.

I don't drink anymore for Cinco de Mayo. I celebrate with Mexican food, or as it's known in Mexico: 'food.'

Now that healthcare is guaranteed, I'm frying everything I eat. Fried food and cigarettes.

Anyone who's just driven 90 yards against huge men trying to kill them has earned the right to do Jazz hands.

I'm not so much a dragon slayer, more a dragon annoyer -- I'm a dragon irritater.

Everything went smoothly at the sailing events today, except for the British team. They forgot to bring limes and they all got scurvy.

Last night on the show I had Olympics fever. Unfortunately, it's getting worse. That's not good. I have to call my doctor if my torch burns for more than four hours.