Quotes from Karl Pilkington

I don't think I'd be a very good parent. I'd be too honest.

I drive a car, like an adult. Not brilliantly. I'm not great.

I came face-to-face with a gorilla which was quite good, but it was a 10-hour trek in bad weather, up hills, covered in mud, with mosquitoes everywhere and when we got there the gorilla's just sat there doing nowt.

And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding.

All fame is is having people you don't know coming up to you and saying, 'Hello.' I'm always polite and people are always nice, but it's weird.

Knowledge is almost annoying.

You can only talk rubbish if you're aware of knowledge.

It's not easy keeping a diary. You have to be pretty committed.

You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like that.

I am into nature and seeing whales. I went whale-watching, and I was really looking forward to that, but when you see it on TV and you see other programs do it, you're seeing close-ups of these massive creatures, and the music that's added gives you a certain feeling.

People always tell me I'm going to regret not having kids. But what if I have one and then I regret having it? Has anyone thought of that option?

Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuff, I've always got other things I want to do - odd jobs around the house. No one wants to hear about that.

I love nature - it's probably my most favorite thing. I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans and the amount of weird fish that's in there.

I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things.

When you've been on a programme called 'An Idiot Abroad' job offers aren't exactly flying in.

I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere.

People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn't necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs off. That would change my life.

Who'd have thought the Frisbee would have caught on?

Sometimes you can know too much. A lot of brainy people like Stephen Fry are quite depressive.

That's the problem with having a bald head. It exaggerates the shape.

If you're worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks I'd say your life's pretty good

I just sort of go along and say what I think -and that's all you can do in life, really.

I'm not invited to any exciting parties and my life hasn't really changed.

I'm not that lazy, but I don't need that much money. I lead a fairly simple life.