Quotes from Joan Rivers

I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.

to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.

Life goes by fast. Enjoy it...Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.

Show business is - you're there by somebody's fluke. And as long as somebody likes you, and the show is going well, you're fine. I'd do anything. There's so much I want to do.

Everyone forgets comedians are actors. There's no question about it. A Robin Williams cannot say the same line every night for 40 weeks and make it sound fresh unless he's doing an acting job.

All my way through college, I worked my way as a window dresser for Lord & Taylor, so I always liked fashion. I always loved fashion and I love that we can do it and not take it seriously.

Life is so tough. I don't know how old you are, but I've seen so much in a wink. One phone call and your life is changed forever. We all know that. You better laugh at everything.

I think it was Cosby who also said to me, 'If only 2 percent of the world thinks you're funny, you'll still fill stadiums for the rest of your life.'

Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.

I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.

I am furious about everything.

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.

I think I was the third person in the world to get a Kindle, and I hated it from the minute I got it.

I hate old people, I hate children. I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.

I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.

I didn't want to do 'Fashion Police' because I thought, 'This is stupid, this is beneath me, who wants to talk about fashion?' It has taken off. We are the number one show in England on E! Who knew?

My eyes opened, and the first thing I thought of when I could put thoughts together was I want to be in show business. Never wanted anything else. I used to sneak in the costume room at my nursery school and smell the costumes.

Here's a Thanksgiving tip. Generally, your turkey is not cooked enough if it passes you the cranberry sauce.

I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.

you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.

The last time I saw a blonde with red streaks in her hair she was laying on Oscar Pistorius' bathroom floor.

When I turn down work, I feel guilty, I feel terrible; I don't know where the next job is going to come from.