Quotes from Ogden Nash

A jolly young fellow from Yuma Told an elephant joke to a puma; now his skeleton lies beneath hot western skies- the puma had no sense of huma

Progress is a fine thing, but it's gone on long enough.

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

either you get eaten by a wolf today or else the shepherd saves you from the wolf so he can sell you to the butcher tomorrow

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. ~ Ogden Nash

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

I give you now Professor Twist The conscientious scientist. Trustees exclaimed, "He never bungles" And sent him off to distant jungles. Camped on a tropic riverside One day he missed his lovely bride. She had, the guide informed him later, Been eaten by an alligator. Professor Twist could not but smile. You mean," he said "a crocodile.!

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it.

Parsley is gharsley.

If called by a panther, don't anther

The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.