Quotes from Ogden Nash

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave When they think that their children are nave.

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.

Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.

Progress might have been all right once, but it went on too long.

The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher, Were each of them once a kiddie. A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature. Do I want one? God Forbiddie!

They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball.

I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it.

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

Too clever is dumb.

Snow is all right while it is snowing; it is like inebriation because it is very pleasing when it is coming, but very unpleasing when it is going.

If some confectioners were willing To let the shape announce the filling, We'd encounter fewer assorted chocs, Bitten into and returned to the box.

Love is a word that is constantly heard, Hate is a word that is not. Love, I am told, is more precious that gold. Love, I have read, is hot. But hate is the verb that to me is superb, And love but a drug on the mart. Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, But hating, my boy, is an art.

Sure deck your lower limbs in pants; Yours are the limbs, my sweeting. You look divine as you advance– Have you seen yourself retreating?

Which the Chicken and Which the Egg? He drinks because she scolds, he thinks; She thinks she scolds because he drinks; And nether will admit what's true, That he's a sot and she's a shrew.

Elephants are useful friends: they have handles on both ends.

He who has never tasted jail Lives well within the legal pale, While he who's served a heavy sentence Renews the racket, not repentance.

My fellow man I do not care for. I often ask me, What's he there for? The only answer i can find Is, Reproduction of his kind.

At least when I get on the Boston train I have a good chance of landing in the South Station And not in that part of the daily press which is reserved for victims of aviation.

Man is a victim of dope In the incurable form of hope!

People can't concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up." ~Happy birthday Ogden Nash! (born 8.19.1902)

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

Senescence begins And middle-age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends

The Bronx? No Thonx!