Quotes from Ogden Nash

I am tarred and feathered with Time.

I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine.

My garden will never make me famous, I'm a horticultural ignoramus.

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.

I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.

Wind is caused by the trees waving their branches.

I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew.

This is my dream, It is my own dream, I dreamt it. I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it.

The sky is now indelible ink, The branches reft asunder; But you and I we do not shrink; We love the lovely thunder.

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?

The truth I do not stretch or shove When I state the dog is full of love. I've also proved, by actual test, A wet dog is the lovingest.

There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it's the gin.

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.

Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, But Hating, my boy, is an Art.

Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?

Some hate broccoli, some hate bacon I hate having my picture taken. How can your family claim to love you And then demand a picture of you?

We love the kindly wind and hail, The jolly thunderbolt, We watch in glee the fairy trail Of ampere, watt, and volt.

Middle-aged life is merry, and I love to lead it.

People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they don't want it.

Good wine needs no bush, And perhaps products that people really want Need no hard-sell or soft-sell TV push. Why not? Look at pot.

A lady wants to be dressed exactly like everybody else but she gets pretty up- set if she sees anybody else dressed exactly like her.

Middle age: when you're sitting at home on Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.