Quotes from Jerry Seinfeld

Our good time is sitting in a coffee shop with a newspaper, writing a line on the back of a napkin. That is the most fun comedians ever have

There is no more embarrassing thing in my life than the fact that I have actually uttered the phrase, 'I would like to order the Ginsu Knife.'

There is nothing more rewarding than completing a goal you have set for yourself.

There's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.

Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you're comfortable with.

There's a tremendous power and energy in sharing your life with another person.

I've been car crazy my whole life, since I was nine years old. It's just something I'm very aware of.

There's different kinds of laughs. It's like a baseball lineup: this guy's your power hitter, this guy gets on base, this guy works out walks. If everybody does their job, we're gonna win.

When I jumped off a roof in Cannes in a bee costume, I looked ridiculous. But this is my business; I have to humiliate myself.

Nobody enjoys the 'little show about nothing' humor more than me, but that is never the way I look at it.

A lot of advertising has gotten worse. I think it's kind of lost its nerve, to be honest with you. I feel like the advertising of the '60s, they were nervier. You know why? Because there was less at stake.

The worst way of flying, I think, is standby. It never works. That's why they call it standby. You end up standing there going, 'Bye!'

I love advertising because I love lying.

I love how you just make coffee and then somehow something gets done.

Pay attention; don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.

Forty to 60 I would say is your prime. That's when you know the most, you've seen the most, you understand the most, and you still have some physical energy.

The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.

Stand-up is hard. Or to keep it at a certain level is hard: I have no writers but me.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

To a guy like me, a laugh is full of information.

I wrote an article on a new Porsche for 'Automobile Magazine.' I knew the editor, and she asked me to write this article. So I'm more proud of that than anything.

I've done a number of Super Bowl ads. And that is the best advertising of the year. That is when people realize they're going to be compared directly against other ads.

We've fallen into a trap of ever-widening orbits of contact, and there is a total disregard for the present moment.

The truth is, the family is much more creatively nourishing because you're playing on a full keyboard. Whereas when you're single, you're just playing the upbeat jazzy tunes.