Quotes from Garrison Keillor

I talk in subjects and verbs, and sort of wind around in concentric circles until I get far enough away from the beginning so that I can call it the end, and it ends.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Freedom doesn't mean aimlessness. We can't just sleepwalk through life.... Freedom demands structure.

In romance, as in life, you only learn when you're losing.

All fiction comes from a little bit of reality, otherwise it would have no relevance. The fun is in innovation, take something real like this fair, and make it something larger than life.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

I think if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world for all of us.

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

When you wage war on the public schools, you're attacking the mortar that holds the community together. You're not a conservative, you're a vandal.

Know the quiet place within your heart and touch the rainbow of possibility; be alive to the gentle breeze of communication, and please stop being such a jerk.

If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?

We come from people who brought us up to believe that life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out his nose.

Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might frighten you. Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze.

Travel is the art form available to Everyman. You sit in the coffee shop in a strange city and nobody knows who you are, or cares, and so you shed your checkered past and your motley credentials and you face the day unarmed ... And onward we go and some day in the distant future, we will stop and turn around in astonishment to see all the places we've been and the heroes we were.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.

IMPORTANT Book reading is a solitary and sedentary pursuit, and those who do are cautioned that a book should be used as an integral part of a well-rounded life, including a daily regimen of rigorous physical exercise, rewarding personal relationships, and sensible low-fat diet. A book should not be used a as a substitute or an excuse.

Some people have a love of their fellow man in their hearts, and others require a light anesthetic.

I have taken so many wrong turns and been so careless with precious things and managed to lose, or break, or leave out in the rain so much that I loved.

He was admired for never being at a loss for words and never wasting any either.