Quotes from Garrison Keillor

When in doubt, look intelligent.

You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories.

Thank you, dear God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

Librarians, Dusty, possess a vast store of politeness. These are people who get asked regularly the dumbest questions on God's green earth. These people tolerate every kind of crank and eccentric and mouth breather there is.

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded gun on your coffee table- There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about.

One reads books in order to gain the privilege of living more than one life. People who don't read are trapped in a mine shaft, even if they think the sun is shining.

The French have a new president, the British will soon have a new P.M., and we envy them as we endure the endless wait for this small dim man to go back to Texas and resume his life.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

A young writer is easily tempted by the allusive and ethereal and ironic and reflective, but the declarative is at the bottom of most good writing.

Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that.

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

One reads books in order to gain the privilege of living more than one life....

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

That's the news from Lake Woebegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.

Life is unjust and this is what makes it so beautiful. Every day is a gift. Be brave and take hold of it.

Intelligence is like four-wheel drive. It only allows you to get stuck in more remote places.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn.

The most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.

I've seen the truth, and it makes no sense.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

My generation was secretive, brooding, ambitious, show-offy, and this generation is congenial. Totally. I imagine them walking around with GPS chips that notify them when a friend is in the vicinity, and their GPSes guide them to each other in clipped electronic lady voices and they sit down side by side in a coffee shop and text-message each other while checking their e-mail and hopping and skipping around Facebook to see who has posted pictures of their weekend.

It is a sin to believe evil of others but it is seldom a mistake.