Quotes from Garrison Keillor

Good old Norwegian cooking: you don't read much about that, or about good old Norwegian hospitality.

was asking what the difference was between mime and pantomime and no one would say.

tragic Powell, the Company Man Who Could Have Been Great, who was offered the mantle by all the polls but deferred to the Boss's Callow Son and vouched for him

That's what high school does for you: gives you some art and music and history so that even if you spend your life raising kids and writing computer programs, still there was a time when you argued about the First Amendment and talked about the Civil War and read Romeo and Juliet.

I feel like a blind man searching a dark room. (Old Man Alone on Labor Day Weekend -- blog post)

If it were not for the truth of fiction there would not be any truth at all.

All the best of you is in the old tongue, but when you speak your best in America you become a yokel, a dumb Norskie, and when you speak English, an idiot.

smake saa god vaer saa god du er saa snille mange takk mange mange takk.

He (coach) looks for size, speed being rare among Norwegians and Germans, and for malleability or what he calls attitude.

Book is a gift that you can open again and again.

A book is a gift you can open and again.

It has been a quiet week in Lake Wobegon. It was warm and bright and the trees were in full color, magnificent, explosive, like permanent fireworks — reds and yellows, oranges, some so brilliant that Crayola never put them in crayons for fear the children would color outside the lines. [Eloise]

A book is a gift you can open again and again!!!!!

Going to church no more making you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car.

A major cause of injury to children is parents rushing to the scene. The panic reflex. Some children love to scream for the thrill of making immense people move fast. I remember that, on a quiet day, my sister and I in the backyard wondered, "Where's Mom?" Upstairs, we thought. So I screamed, "MOM." She made it down in two seconds. A good pair of wheels for an old lady.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car." ? Garrison Keillor But he got it from Billy Sunday... Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. -- Billy Sunday Billy Sunday, William Thomas Ellis (1917). "Billy Sunday, the Man and His Message: With His Own Words which Have Won Thousands for Christ

Women do not adore men; women are amused by men, we are a source of chuckles. That's because women are the makers of life, and we aren't. We will never be able to carry life within our bodies, never breast-feed. We get more than our share of loot and we are, for some reason, incredibly brave and funny and inventive, and yet our role in procreation basically is to get crazy and howl and spray our seed in all directions. •

Happy to Be Here

Du skal ikke tror at du er noget. "Don't think you're somebody.

I expected to include plenty of Whitman here and discovered, reading him, a sort of seasickness at all those undulating lines of Uncle Walt's perpetual swoon over grass and leaves and camerados. There are good poems there, and it's a mistake to omit them, but Walt is the Typhoid Mary of American Lit: so much bad poetry can be traced back to him (and not brief bad poems, either), he gave so many dreadful writers permission to lavish themselves upon us. Lord, forgive me.

I've put away the clock and now I enjoy the time.

Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and she had no time for either

No matter what time of year I come here, people always say the same thing: Its not usually like this.

When you're old you feast on your memories, and if you spend too much time on exercise, you may get old and not have many.