Quotes from Rodney Dangerfield

A girl phoned me the other day and said ... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.

My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him .... If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion. He said .... Alright.... you're ugly too!

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.