Quotes from Bill Maher

If you believe that the world is going to come to an end - and perhaps any day now - does it not drain one's motivation to improve life on earth while we're here?

No politician is perfect. But in every election in your life, there will be one choice that is better than the others. Go out and vote for that one.

We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.

The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.

Americans are gluttons. We shop with forklifts. We have a holiday where we stuff food into other food. Our strippers wrestle in Jell-O, where other countries have to use mud.

Did you see the 2000 Republican Presidential Convention? The last time the Republicans had that many Black people on a stage, they were selling them!

Curious people are interesting people; I wonder why that is.

If you belonged to a political party or a social club that was tied to as much bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, violence, and sheer ignorance as religion is, you'd resign in protest.

One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.

you know... there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time.... husband!!!

Shouldn't we be against procreation at this point in time? With overpopulation and the strain on the resources on this planet? Shouldn't we reward people who don't spawn?

Some people think I enjoy debate. I don't. I wish everyone agreed with me; it would save a lot of time.

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.

For the first time since 1979, we are talking to the Islamic Republic of Iran. Obama says talking to him is probably pointless, but it's a hell of a relief from Mitch McConnell.

Time magazine put Chris Christie on the cover with the caption, 'The Elephant in the Room.' And People magazine named him 'Sexiest Garbage Truck in a Suit.'

Every time [Rand Paul] opens his mouth, it gets a little crazier. Today he angrily demanded that the liberal media stop quoting him in context.

You know, if you're an American and you're born at this time in history especially, you're lucky. We all are. We won the world history Powerball lottery...

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

I don't want my president to be a TV star. You don't have to be on television every minute of every day - you're the president, not a rerun of 'Law & Order'. TV stars are too worried bout being popular and too concerned about being renewed.

Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I'll be damned if Rick Perry didn't take me up on that.

I'm not a Christian, but I have read his book.

Every day in America is a day with a shooting.

That's not water. That's socialism juice. We should bomb Lake Erie.

What I believe in is love your neighbor as yourself and don't call him stupid because they don't agree with you politically.